My Name is Molly and I Love You
I will Photoshop you into your Favorite Movie or TV Show for $5
Place your order on my Fiverr profile!
Those kinds of headlines tell part of the story. Someone whose mother was an accessory can tell the rest.
7 Things I Learned as an Accomplice to Mass Murder
#7. You Could Be Right in the Middle of It and Not Even Know
Brothers Glenn and Justin Helzer and their friend Dawn Godman murdered five people. … July 30, 2000: Glenn, Justin, and Dawn abduct elderly Annette and Ivan Stineman and bring them back to the Helzer house. The Stinemans are then drugged and forced to write out checks to Bishop totaling $100,000. My mother’s role in all this? She was responsible for the trio’s alibi: receipts for us all for dinner and a movie. At first blush, that seems like the most innocuous crime ever committed, but it gets bad in a hurry.
My amazing friend Talia wrote this amazing article. It is so honest and brave, and it makes you feel SO MANY EMOTIONS BECAUSE IT IS AN AMAZING ARTICLE AND THAT IS WHAT AMAZING ARTICLES DO. TALIA YOU ARE AMAZING.
just followed a fish around a pond for a solid 20 minutes
Real food comes from the earth. Fruits and vegetables are food. Nuts, seeds, legumes, and grains are food. They get all the energy they need to grow from the sun. They literally grow because they are filled with sunshine! When you eat plants, you eat sunshine. This may sound looney, but I promise you that it’s 100% science.
When you eat sunshine, you fill your body with light, your body is grateful, and you are able to function at your highest energy level. And that is the place where everything in life becomes amazing and miracles happen.
Sadly, most people confuse real foods with fake foods, or food impostors. Food impostors are made in laboratories. That packaged brownie in your purse, that frozen pizza in your freezer, those nacho-cheese flavored chips on your kitchen counter— all food impostors. All of these fake foods were made in laboratories by scientists who developed chemicals that trick your brain into thinking you’re eating real food.
Don’t know about you, but I definitely trust the earth with 4.54 billion years of experience in making real food, a lot more than I trust a middle-aged scientist in lab coat with twenty years of experience making “food.”
It’s easy to distinguish between real foods and food impostors based on how many ingredients they have. The fewer ingredients, the more real the food.
- Real Food Examples:
- Apple, one ingredient (apple)
- Kale, one ingredient (kale)
- Beans, one ingredient (beans)
- Fake Food Examples:
- Cool Ranch Doritos, 34 ingredients (gross chemicals)
- Dunkin Donuts donut, 50 ingredients (gross chemicals)
- Subway sandwich, 95 ingredients (gross chemicals)
When you put this fake food into your body, your body then has to take apart and digest each of those ingredients. What’s easier to digest? Food with one ingredient, or food with 95 ingredients. Food with one ingredient. Duh.
After you eat a meal, a lot of your blood is redirected to your stomach to give it the blood, oxygen, and energy it needs for the digestion process. It takes a lot less time and energy to digest one ingredient than it does 95 ingredients. A lot of people get tired after eating because so much of their blood and energy is going to their stomachs, that the rest of their body and organs are suffering from lack of appropriate blood supply, oxygen, and energy. And then they get really sleepy and really cranky.
Real food would never make you sleepy or cranky. Real food loves you. Real food gives you all the vitamins and nutrients you need for your mind, body, and spirit to function at its highest level. The majority of society is malnourished by food impostors, and they suffer physically and mentally because of it.
Think of babies. Part of the reason they are so happy is because they are being uber nourished by all the real foods they eat. Puréed fruits and vegetables 24/7. They are living the dream! My dream, at least!
Start small. Next time you go shopping, read the ingredients lists on everything you buy. If it has more than 5 ingredients, stay away. If it has less than five ingredients, stock up on that beautiful stuff!
Your body is the only true home you’ll ever have. It’s the home of your soul. By taking better care of your body and feeding it the real foods it was built to eat, you take better care of your soul, life becomes amazing, and miracles happen.
Also, I love you.
At the Zoo
Searching for light
You don’t know what I’m about to do
Because I don’t know what I’m about to do
We’re in the same boat
Also I love boats
Small child stands outside of Lynx cage
Wants to eat small child
Small child walks away
Lynx pisses on log
Saw a dead squirrel here once
Saw two dead squirrels here
Man sits in lawn chair
In gorilla house
Listens to tunes on his MP3
Dances with his hands
He gets it
He gets it
I drank too much fucking rice milk
"Your Thoughts Inform your Reality"
Every human has an energy field, and every thought you think controls your energy field. Positive thoughts produce positive, light energy. Negative thoughts produce negative, dark energy.
Have you ever been walking down the street and seen someone coming towards you who really creeps you out, and you don’t know why? That “creepy” feeling you feel is your body’s natural reaction to that person’s negative, dark energy. Have you ever walked into a room of strangers and immediately and inexplicably were drawn to a certain person? That’s because their positive, light energy magnetically drew you to them.
Think of it like this. Put a bunch of flies in a dark room then, after a few minutes, turn on the light. Where do the flies go? They all fly to the light. This is the exact same thing that happens with humans. We a drawn to the light. The lightworkers. Positive people whose positive thoughts light them up.
Think about something you love. Feel that thought. Feel the warm, positive energy flowing through your veins. Feel the warmth in your face from your smile. Your body is literally expanding from your joy. Good stuff, right? Now think about something that makes you angry. Feel that thought. Feel the pit in your stomach. Feel your muscles tense. Feel your head tighten. Shitty stuff, right? Hurry! Go back to the positive thought! Otters! Think of baby otters!
When you thought the positive thought, your body expanded, and you felt lighter. When you thought the negative thought, your body contracted, and you felt heavier. This expansion/lightness and contraction/heaviness is YOUR energy field, and YOUR thoughts created it!
Think positive thoughts, and you automatically become a magnet for more positive thoughts, more positive people, and more positive things. With one, simple, positive thought, you literally become like a hippie magician (I consider myself one) and you can make anything you want happen.
I’m reading the bestselling book E-Squared, by Pam Grout, and in it are a bunch of experiments on energy and how your thoughts inform your reality. Here are some of my results from the experiments I’ve done so far.
Experiment #1: You tell God/the Universe/Whomever you believe in that you want someone in your life to send you a gift within the next 48 hours. On hour thirty-six, my co-worker walked over to my desk and gave me a fake red rose. MAGIC!
Experiment #2: You tell God/the Universe/Whomever you believe in that you want to see “sunset beige” cars that day. I saw 84 sunset beige cars within 24 hours. MAGIC!
Experiment #3: You choose something you want and tell God/the Universe/Whomever you believe in that you want it within 48 hours. I wrote in my book this morning that I wanted to win some money. Today I had two matching numbers in the Lucky Day Lotto and won $1. MAGIC!
During all these experiments, I walked around with the thought that something great was just about to happen, and it did. This thought literally informed my reality, and a bunch of awesome, magical stuff happened to me because of it.
So, you guys, try it out. Become a hippie magician. Ask God/the Universe/Whomever you believe in for something you want (be very specific), and tell him/her/whomever that they have 48 hours to give it to you. Then just sit back, relax, and walk around fully knowing with absolutely no doubt that a miracle is coming to you very, very soon.
Also, read E-Squared
because it is amazing.
so far i’ve combed my hair 3 times this year
jumped in lake in my work clothes bc why not